summer .... what to do?

Hi ya'll! 


Sooo... this is summer ey? 

I'm trying to keep calm, not being stressed by not being stressed by anything. But that stresses me out.. 

So, instead of relaxing I try to keep myself occupied. But it turned out that I can only do so much before I reach a point of forced relaxation. 


I'm planning for the tour... but I can’t sit and practice every hour every day.. 

I'm planning for the Sunday services, but it's the same thing there.. 

I'm looking forward to go to work, planning in my head how successful I will be... but I can't do that forever without end. 

I’m planning for several events and happenings for the next year…but I can’t make anything more happen right now..


I'm trying to relax, laying around, enjoying the sun... But I get bored after a while... 


I do have a sickness... it's called the "life-is-to-short" disease.

“Life-is-to-short” hits you when your life turns upside down and what seem to be many years ahead of you turn into gratitude for each day you wake up. I know it is important to relax…to allow your self to not do anything… I know that the spiritual life will benefit from that… I know my soul needs it… but it is like a flame, or a thirst that cannot be satisfied. I need to live. I need to make the most out of my life. Why should I just lie around when I could actually do something?


I need to find my answer to this question. It seems like I can’t accept other peoples good advice.. I need to find my way.


What if you know that you need to practice and develop the “you” time cut of from everything, but your mind and body scream “Go on, do more stuff, don’t waste your life!”…


I know I’m not wasting my life… I know the time when I can’t do anything is good for me.. but why can’t I accept it?


A person at my school said: Thomas, you are always on the run, always have something to do, somewhere to be. How do you keep up?


I know it’s not a waste to sit down and relax… But it is so boring.. and I can’t help it but it seems to me that it is not the best way I can spend my time in life..


My dream and goal and motivation this summer is to find the way to combine “life-is-to-short” with “keep-calm-you-are-just-fine”. I want to be able to control this part of me. To control when to turn on all my 100% and just do the great job that I know I always do, and control so that I can slow down with a good conscience.


I want to spend more time with God, with my bible. Understand more, and shut my own thoughts and conclusions off for a while and let God have His ways.


Finally, I’m looking forward to august like a child longs for Christmas day. So many good things in my life right now, and the silver ring on my right hand reminds me every day of what joy I have experienced the last semester and what joy this next semester will bring.


Because after all… I’m a very lucky and happy man :)  


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